What Exactly Do You Do At Work?

Today, I was filling out a questionnaire for something I'm pursuing in my personal life. When I got to the question, "What do you do at work?" I stopped. Below the question were two lines. How in the world do I describe what I do at work in just two lines? I settled for something along the lines of "teach, inspire, and love my group of first graders." What I'd like to say is this:

At my work, I:

• Get kiddos out of snow pants that just don't want to unzip.
• Restart 3 iPads after panicked students come to me because they can't slide the slider.
• Talk with a lovely about how it's not okay to tell someone they are stupid.
• Read books.
• Give directions for the third time to the lovely who is trying his absolute hardest but is just not interested in listening to his dear old teacher.
• Tie a shoe.
• Put Bandaids on scraped elbows.
• Turn the tables on their sides to create the ultimate snowball battle experience to engage my students in math review.
• Unstick a lovely's finger from the zipper pull she had to put said finger through.
• Wipe all tables with Clorox wipes to ward off the illnesses sweeping through the room.
• Kindly remind a lovely for the third or fourth time that he doesn't have to interrupt my teaching to ask for a tissue; he can simply go get one. 
• Log a student onto a Netbook that is just not cooperating.
• Teach a lovely that it's not okay to go into the drawers of my desk and take stuff.
• Put together a Kahoot to review basic addition facts in an attempt to create a fun experience in math.
• Snap a picture of the students doing the above Kahoot and tweet this picture so parents know what is going on in the classroom.
• Bundle up for recess duty during which I jump rope, hula hoop, and go across the monkey bars all for the sake of the students' thrills.
• Attempt to inspire a lovely to give his absolute best on his blog post.
• Tweet a plea for a first grade classroom somewhere in the world to share the above lovely's awesome blog post with.
• Feel disappointed when no one responds to the Twitter plea.
• Log another student onto another Netbook that is just not cooperating.
• Consult with a young reader about her use of the Monitor and Fix-Up strategy.
• Throw my hands up in the air and exclaim, "Woohoo!"causing all students to stop what they're doing and stare at their crazy teacher when above reader appropriately uses the Monitor and Fix-Up strategy. 
• Remind a lovely that it's not okay to push someone out of line to stand next to his best friend. 
• Talk with my grade-level team about upcoming events, test scores, intervention groups, and technology.
• Log yet another student onto yet another Netbook that is just not cooperating.
• Eat lunch in my classroom with the company of four lovelies.
• Laugh when one of the lovelies says, "--, I think you should just let him die and come play with me." 
• Take all four lunch trays down to the cafeteria to give those four lovelies all of their recess time.
• Check to make sure one lovely is riding the bus home and not being picked up like usual.
• Email a parent about a health concern she is having with her lovely.
• Invite the principal into my classroom to talk with all the boys about the appropriate way to use the bathroom. (Pay attention and aim guys!)
• Tell students to give up on the silly Netbooks that are just not cooperating until I can seek technical assistance with them. (Technical assistance, by now, means throwing them out the window...)
• Get frustrated when I forget to hand out my targeted five tickets for showing PRIDE and try to sneak them into the last 45 minutes of the day.
• Make the decision to get all lovelies a mechanical pencil in order to avoid sharpening another pencil.
• Smile as each student leaves my classroom and hope they come back the next day with a smile on their face.

Oh yeah, I also:

• Teach math
• Teach reading
• Teach social studies
• Teach science

How do I get that all down in two lines?