Losing My Fire

I haven't posted in a while. My life changed significantly over the last year, which is a blog post for a different day. Many days were a battle, and blogging just wasn't high on my priority list. In many ways last year was the most positive and successful year of my life. At the same time it was one of the worst. Unfortunately, the part of my life that took the biggest hit this last year was my teacher life. I had a tough year in the classroom. It took me longer than usual to connect with my students, and I think I will always remember this year for that reason. Right from the beginning I could tell I had a class with more needs (academically and socially) than an average class. I caved under the pressure of meeting those needs. Looking back now there are so many things I would have done differently.

First of all, I have always been a teacher who focuses on relationships. I work hard to get to know my students so I can serve them in whatever way they need. This year, I plowed through the unfamiliar curriculum instead of taking the time on those relationships. I was new to my district this year and there was no carry-over on any of the curricula. Math was different. Reading was different. Writing was different. Even science and social studies were different. I was starting all over (or at least I thought I was). I over-emphasized the importance of getting through the stuff, and my relationships crumbled. Every day took all the fight I had just to get through. It wasn't until April that I felt like I actually knew my students and they were beginning to know me. In March, my husband and I adopted our son, and I shared that moment with my students. At the same time, my students were doing Star of the Week so they were sharing their lives as well. Those two moments changed everything. Suddenly, I felt confident in the classroom again - I felt like I belonged. I'm pretty sure they felt the same way. As I shared such a huge life-changing moment with them, they were able to open up about their interests, passions, and lives, and I could feel everyone relax. I wish I could go back in time and spend the first couple of weeks really getting to know my students. The year would have gone differently.

Secondly, my passion for teaching reading didn't shine through this year. I devoted my fifth year of teaching to teaching my students to love reading - to love books. As I told one of my team members this last year, I was on fire that year and that fire burned brightly. This year, I lost that. As I mentioned before, I was overwhelmed by the curriculum. I never strayed too far from it out of fear of my students missing out on something important. I attempted to come out of the gate strong. I started Daily 5 with my students on the first day of school. We discussed, at length, the urgency of spending time reading every day for the first couple of weeks of school. Then I fizzled. There was just too much other stuff to get through, so I dragged them all along with me as I worked to figure it out. We didn't celebrate books. We didn't share books. We didn't recommend books to each other. We just slogged our way through the day. Now, most of my students loved Daily 5 time anyway, which I'm grateful for. They would complain if we didn't do it. I know it could have been more meaningful for them, though. I could have set them up for long-lasting success. The curriculum can wait a bit.

Lastly, I had a terrible attitude. On top of starting this job in a new district, I was attempting to handle being a new foster mom. There's so much I can say about the foster care life, but that would be a post (or 20) all on its own. For now, I'll suffice it to say, it's hard. There were many days I was just seconds away from bursting into tears, so I did what I've always done - used my classroom, my students, and my school as an escape. During those school hours, I worked hard to forget I was a foster parent. I was mostly successful at this. There was a constant under currant though. The stress, the worry, and the fear of the unknown was always there whether I acknowledged it or not. It made me irritable, even against my greatest efforts to not let it do that. Turns out, there is only so much I can handle with grace. When I reach my limit, I can be a bit of a grouch. I've spent a good portion of my summer reflecting on this and praying for more strength, patience, and understanding next year. Foster care is still hard - having a year of experience under my belt doesn't change that. I do know more about how it all works, and, with enough prayer, maybe this year my threshold for stress, worry, and fear can be just a little bit higher.

In March, I sat in my principal's office just before his second observation of me with tears streaming down my face. I told him I felt like a disappointment. I felt like I had failed to be the teacher I promised I would be in my interview. He kindly smiled at me and assured me I hadn't disappointed anyone. When I look at the data from the year, my students made excellent growth. Most of them met the goals laid out for them in our various standards, and I feel they are ready for second grade. I find comfort in that knowledge. It was a rough year, but it wasn't fruitless. My goal now is to learn from last year, make some improvements, and be that much more better next year. I think I can do it!

Our Future Will Be Great - Part III

Yikes! It's been a long time since I've posted, and I never finished my series on the incredible students I get to call mine this year. This is the final installment, and I'm so glad I took the time to pay tribute to each kiddo. I have a truly fantastic group this year, and they deserve every ounce of kindness and love I've poured into these posts.

Here we go - the final six!

14 - This guy is the spice in our classroom. He has quick comebacks and witty comments about nearly any situation. He is bubbly, happy, and knowledgeable about all kinds of things. I love this guy’s love of dancing. He asks me to put on the Cha Cha Slide every afternoon and dances like a crazy person. Recently, he has inspired a new version on this dance which is done entirely while laying on the floor on top of his backpack. It’s hilarious! This guy is a smile-maker!

15 - I struggle to come up with the words to fully describe my feelings about this one. He is another one of my inspirations. He won’t let me do the run-of-the-mill “school stuff;” he demands more from me and he calls me on it when I don’t deliver. I’m very grateful for this. Every teacher needs a student who asks more of them, and every student deserves a teacher who will listen. I’m more than happy to be that teacher for him. He has inspired all kinds of greatness this year, and I can’t wait to see who else he inspires as he gets older.

16 - This girl is brilliant! Even more important than that, though, she’s hardworking and driven. She’s also a reader. I’m not talking the regular ole’ first grade reader who will read when asked to. I’m talking the reader who devours books - who chooses to read at recess, in the line waiting to be dismissed, and probably any other place she has a book. Even though she is quiet, we have bonded many times over a great book, and I just know we will in the future too!

17 - Sweet and innocent are the best words I can think of to describe this active little guy. He makes me laugh on a regular basis by the things he says and his genuine child-ness. This guy is our resident super hero expert; he can give you the full rundown of Spider Man from beginning to end. He also has an incredibly caring nature, and I know he wouldn’t hurt a fly in any situation. He wants to be loved and to love right back. He’s just fantastic!

18 - I love to laugh with this one. Seriously. His laugh kills me. It’s the greatest. We have the same type of personality which allows us to get each other. He amazes me in many ways. He has a focus and attention to detail that I would never expect from a first grader. His dedication and inquisitive nature allow him to make the best out of everything. I absolutely admire the way he can make good choices even when those around him are not. He’s going to be an amazing asset to our future!

19 - This guy has the greatest combination of humor/silliness and kindness/compassion. He cares deeply about the people around him. Even though he is quiet, his friendships are strong and he is greatly liked by the people around him. I love the silly side of this guy too. His smile is the greatest, and he often cracks jokes when I least expect them. This guy has worked so hard this year, and he definitely deserves an award for that. He’s going places!


So there you have it! I'm going to have such a hard time saying goodbye to this group, and I can't believe I will be doing that in just two months. These kids have made me a better teacher, and, better yet, a better person. I'm thankful for each moment I've spent with them, and I hope they leave first grade knowing they are loved.

A Lesson on Kindness

We finally made it back to school today! We had a professional development day on Monday and a work day on Tuesday. We were supposed to have students yesterday, but it was stinkin' cold (thank you Iowa winters...) so we ended up with a cold day. I was more than ready to get back to my students today.

As most teachers do, I typically spend the first couple of days back from Christmas break reviewing rules and procedures in order to lay the groundwork for a successful second half to the year. This year, I wanted to add in some goal setting to give us a direction. I began by talking about resolutions and about why people make resolutions. I shared with them that one of my resolutions is to show kindness to as many people as possible. To help illustrate why kindness is important to me, I read them one of my favorite books, Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson. I discovered this book last year when I was in the midst of teaching a series of character lessons to my challenging kindergarten class. It is easily one of the most powerful books I've ever read to children.

(image from www.goodreads.com)

In this incredible story, Maya moves to a new school. The girls at this new school immediately notice that Maya isn't like them. She wears secondhand clothes and isn't interested in the same things they are. Because of this, the girls decide to exclude her. When their teacher does a lesson on kindness in which she describes the ripple effect of kindness, Chloe (the main character) realizes how she has been treating Maya and vows to change. Unfortunately, Maya moves away and Chloe never gets the chance to repair their relationship.

As I read the story, stopping occasionally to discuss what was happening, my students had all kinds of insightful thoughts about what was happening. When we finished the book, I asked the question, "Can you ever take back your hurtful actions?" At first my students said yes, but as we talked a little more, they came to the realization that no matter what we do to fix the situation we can never take back the mean things we do. This is why kindness is so important. I could feel this sinking in for my students. It has been quite a while since they have been that quiet after reading a book. It was a powerful moment for us and a great way to begin a new year!

We followed that up with setting some reading goals and writing a rough draft of a blog post about our goals for 2015. Their goals ranged from getting better at football to being a better friend to getting better at math. I chuckled at some of them and was inspired by others. All in all, I think we're all set to go for another semester!

Now, if only we could just get ourselves back to school we'd really be set. We got out early today due to blizzard-like conditions and we're already delayed two hours tomorrow. Once again, gotta love these Iowa winters...

What Exactly Do You Do At Work?

Today, I was filling out a questionnaire for something I'm pursuing in my personal life. When I got to the question, "What do you do at work?" I stopped. Below the question were two lines. How in the world do I describe what I do at work in just two lines? I settled for something along the lines of "teach, inspire, and love my group of first graders." What I'd like to say is this:

At my work, I:

• Get kiddos out of snow pants that just don't want to unzip.
• Restart 3 iPads after panicked students come to me because they can't slide the slider.
• Talk with a lovely about how it's not okay to tell someone they are stupid.
• Read books.
• Give directions for the third time to the lovely who is trying his absolute hardest but is just not interested in listening to his dear old teacher.
• Tie a shoe.
• Put Bandaids on scraped elbows.
• Turn the tables on their sides to create the ultimate snowball battle experience to engage my students in math review.
• Unstick a lovely's finger from the zipper pull she had to put said finger through.
• Wipe all tables with Clorox wipes to ward off the illnesses sweeping through the room.
• Kindly remind a lovely for the third or fourth time that he doesn't have to interrupt my teaching to ask for a tissue; he can simply go get one. 
• Log a student onto a Netbook that is just not cooperating.
• Teach a lovely that it's not okay to go into the drawers of my desk and take stuff.
• Put together a Kahoot to review basic addition facts in an attempt to create a fun experience in math.
• Snap a picture of the students doing the above Kahoot and tweet this picture so parents know what is going on in the classroom.
• Bundle up for recess duty during which I jump rope, hula hoop, and go across the monkey bars all for the sake of the students' thrills.
• Attempt to inspire a lovely to give his absolute best on his blog post.
• Tweet a plea for a first grade classroom somewhere in the world to share the above lovely's awesome blog post with.
• Feel disappointed when no one responds to the Twitter plea.
• Log another student onto another Netbook that is just not cooperating.
• Consult with a young reader about her use of the Monitor and Fix-Up strategy.
• Throw my hands up in the air and exclaim, "Woohoo!"causing all students to stop what they're doing and stare at their crazy teacher when above reader appropriately uses the Monitor and Fix-Up strategy. 
• Remind a lovely that it's not okay to push someone out of line to stand next to his best friend. 
• Talk with my grade-level team about upcoming events, test scores, intervention groups, and technology.
• Log yet another student onto yet another Netbook that is just not cooperating.
• Eat lunch in my classroom with the company of four lovelies.
• Laugh when one of the lovelies says, "--, I think you should just let him die and come play with me." 
• Take all four lunch trays down to the cafeteria to give those four lovelies all of their recess time.
• Check to make sure one lovely is riding the bus home and not being picked up like usual.
• Email a parent about a health concern she is having with her lovely.
• Invite the principal into my classroom to talk with all the boys about the appropriate way to use the bathroom. (Pay attention and aim guys!)
• Tell students to give up on the silly Netbooks that are just not cooperating until I can seek technical assistance with them. (Technical assistance, by now, means throwing them out the window...)
• Get frustrated when I forget to hand out my targeted five tickets for showing PRIDE and try to sneak them into the last 45 minutes of the day.
• Make the decision to get all lovelies a mechanical pencil in order to avoid sharpening another pencil.
• Smile as each student leaves my classroom and hope they come back the next day with a smile on their face.

Oh yeah, I also:

• Teach math
• Teach reading
• Teach social studies
• Teach science

How do I get that all down in two lines?

Highlights from Teaching Like a Pirate

After fully participating in my first #tlap chat on Monday, I decided to dedicate this week to making engaging and fun learning opportunities for my students. I constantly question myself, but I think it was successful. By today, I had many students begging me to do some of the opportunities over again.

First of all, one thing that made this week so exciting was wrapping up our science unit on balance and motion. We had studied balance and gotten through the second chapter on spinning. This week, we were working on rolling. We use FOSS kits for our science curriculum, and I'm a huge fan. Coming from the early childhood realm, I have a deep passion for inquiry, play, and exploration and these kits are based on those three concepts. With that being said, please know that I'm not taking credit for these lesson plans; they were planned out for me. They were so much fun, though, and this is exactly what I think science should be like for students.

We explored rolling with three different materials this week, First, we made wheels out of disks and shafts and played around with how they rolled down a ramp. We got them to roll straight, to turn corners, and to do a wobbly roll. On Thursday, we explored the way cups roll. After discovering that they curve as they roll, I challenged them to see if they could get their cup "car" to roll off the ramp and park itself underneath it. Many students found success with this, so we moved to the second challenge: roll the small cup so it falls off the edge of the ramp and lands on its opening. This was the hardest challenge of the day, but many of the students were successful by the time we finished. Friday, we explored rolling with spheres (marbles to be exact). This was my favorite day! The students took styrofoam runways and built all kinds of ramps to see how they could get their marbles to roll. They built tracks with hills so their marbles would go up and down and up again. They built tracks with loop-the-loops. They built long tracks and short tracks.

Science was a blast and a half this week, and I wanted to keep the momentum going. I knew I needed to do something with my math lessons. My kiddos and I have been exploring using Kahoot in our classroom, and we have been loving it! I even had a student ask me if they could do Kahoot during an indoor recess on Monday. (I'm currently brainstorming ways to see how I can flip this around and have the students create the quiz for each other.) After a request like that, I knew I needed to find a way to work a Kahoot quiz into our week. On Wednesday, we were learning about a trick to help us memorize addition facts called "making ten." Essentially the students manipulate the addends to make ten and count on to answer quickly. We used tens frames to help us with this trick. After learning the strategy, we put it to use. I had created a ten question Kahoot quiz with addition facts. The students worked in teams to solve the fact; one student made the first addend on their tens frame and the other student made the second and then they worked together to make ten and find the answer. Let me just say this - it is the coolest thing in the world to look around my classroom and see every one of my students actively engaged in solving a problem while working together! It made my teacher heart so stinkin' happy!

Thursday was the ultimate of days. I hooked my kiddos with a board message as they were coming in. It simply said, "Get ready for the best snowball fight of your life!" As they filtered in and read the board, the buzzing immediately started. I wasn't talking though, and the lack of details was killing them. We made it through our rolling exploration and the students headed out for recess. I immediately set to work transforming my classroom into the snowball fight battlefield. (I have pictures, but I forgot them at school. I'll add them when I get back.) I tipped all the tables on their sides to be the forts and organized them into a circle around the perimeter of the room. I taped a square into the middle of the circle of tables. Behind each fort, I placed a stack of "snowballs" (wadded up papers with math problems). As the students came in from recess, I greeted them in the coatroom and said, "The room doesn't look the same as before, please be careful." After only a few seconds, many of them figured out that it must be time for our snowball fight, and the excitement in the air was palpable. They came in and I explained the rules.

1. Your tablemates are your teammates. You will be working together to solve math problems to earn points.
2. One teammate will be in the square in the middle. When I say go, the other teammates will be in their forts (behind the tables) and will throw "snowballs" to the teammate in the middle who will try to catch one.
3. When the middle teammate catches a snowball, S/he will bring the snowball into the fort and the team will work together to solve the problem. 
4. When the problem is solved, the middle teammate will bring the snowball to me to be checked. The first team to get theirs correct will receive 5 points, the second team will receive 4 points, and so on. 

What ensued was an hour of the most fun test review I've ever had. The students worked together magically, and I had nearly 100% of the students focused the entire time. They have been begging me to do this with them again.

Needless to say, by today, I was exhausted. The extra effort I made this week was so worth it though! I plan to continue looking for ways to "teach like a pirate!" This will be more difficult now that we're done with science for a little while, but I refuse to put a limit on the possibilities that can occur in my classroom. Monday, I have a camping adventure planned for my kiddos who collectively have read 500 books this year. They're bringing flashlights and sleeping bags. I'm bringing the "campfire" and the tent. Can't wait for the fun to continue!

Why I Chose to Not Use AR

Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted. Writing another blog post has been on my mind for quite some time, but I just couldn't get myself to share anything. After some deep reflection, I realized I just wasn't feeling very passionate about what was happening in my classroom. Sure, good things were happening. We've been using our technology a little more everyday, and the students are growing in many ways. The things that were happening just felt very ordinary to me. This last week changed my mindset completely.

(Before I share what sparked my passion, please know that I don't mean to offend anyone. It needs to be okay for educators to feel differently about instructional practices - that's what makes each one of us so valuable. I appreciate differing opinions as opportunities to grow in my own abilities.)

The school I teach in uses Accelerated Reader (AR) to supplement its literacy instruction from first grade through eighth grade. As the year has progressed the other first grade classes have started identifying reading levels, choosing matching books, and taking daily tests. My coworkers were gently reminding me to get started with my students whenever the topic came up. I kept pushing it off and making excuses about how I was struggling to keep up with teaching a new grade level. I finally worked up the courage to confront my actual reason for putting AR off last Monday.

After researching the philosophy behind AR and looking at research on its results, I began to identify pros and cons and to formulate a plan. I wrote an email (a book might be a better way to describe it) to my principal late Monday night. In it, I shared my real reason for not starting AR: I don't believe it's in the best interest of my students.

Personally, I did AR all through elementary and middle school. It did weird things to my reading habits. I stopped seeing books as opportunities to learn, explore, and question and started seeing them as the point value they held. In 7th grade, I read over 300 points in order to get a trophy. I was a good reader, but I didn't enjoy what I was doing. It was just another job - another way to earn a good grade. Plus, I really liked seeing my name at the top of the points board in Mr. Mitchel's classroom.

I'm not the only one with stories like this. My older brother, who still holds the record for number of points in a year at our middle school, read books way beyond his comprehension level to get the points he wanted. My husband got terrible grades, because he read the books he wanted to read instead of the books that had AR tests. My younger brothers struggled with reading, and trying to reach their point expectations was torture for them.

Their were other aspects of the program bothering me as well. I cringed at the idea of telling a student what color of book to choose from the library.  When in life outside of school are we only able to select a book based on the color tab on its spine? That's not authentic. I value the idea of teaching students how to identify whether or not a book is a good fit for them. If a student is empowered with the skills to evaluate a book and judge whether he should read it, imagine what that can do for his reading level and self esteem. Not to mention the fact that students catch on to that color system pretty quickly. Having one student brag about what color he is reading to another student is not something I want to happen in my classroom.

As I was putting together my argument to not use AR in my classroom, one question was a part of each of my thoughts. Why do we read? I read to have fun. I read because I can experience places/events/people I wouldn't be able to experience otherwise. I read to learn. That's real life. I don't read to get a certain number of points. I don't read as a competition against my peers. Why would I ask my students do that? Once again, that's not authentic.

I sent my book email to my principal and prayed he would take it into consideration. The next morning, he emailed back wanting to set up a meeting to discuss other options. We planned for Thursday, so I spent Tuesday and Wednesday nights putting together a document with details on how I was going to build readers in my classroom without using AR. I'll go into those details in future posts. For now, I want to focus on his reaction. As we sat down, he told a story about a conversation that happened around his dinner table earlier that week. One of his kids, who was reading a Diary of a Wimpy Kid book, sat down and said, "I need to finish this books so I can get my points." What ensued was a family conversation about why we really read and what's important with reading. His story is exactly why I was struggling to ask my students to do AR. Needless to say, after a good 25/30 minutes of conversation, my principal was on board and gave me the okay to continue with my plans.

I went back to my classroom, and that afternoon I shared my plans with my students. After some assurance on my part, the students started to feel excited too. It was a little harder for the students who have older siblings who have done AR for a few years to come to grasp with not earning points. I understand that; it would be hard to see other people receiving awards while they are not. This lead to one of the best conversations we have had together all year. When one of my kiddos said, "Well, ****** already has 10 points." I knew that was my opportunity to talk about why we read. Together, we brainstormed all the different reasons we read. We talked about how important it is to get better at reading and how the best way to do that is to read and read and read. By the end of that conversation, one of my little critics looked at my assistant and said, "I think this is going to be better than AR!"

I have a lot to do to build this up, and I'm not sure what criticisms I'm going to get as a result of this decision. What I do know is that I'm teaching with my heart. I'm sticking up for what I believe is right for my students.

A Whole New Set of Challenges

We've had eight full days of school now, and I can say that I was not wrong to fall in love with this group so early on. They're hard workers full of personality, and they have brilliant thoughts and ideas to share with the world. In my class, I have:

• a handful of sports stars - Seriously, ask them anything about wrestling or football, and I think they'd be able to answer.
• a superhero expert - This guy loves him some superheroes, and he will excitedly share his knowledge with you at the drop of a hat.
• a Transformers expert - He has shared his "research" (his terminology, not mine) on Transformers, and he knows way more than I ever knew a person could know about them.
• a handful of introverts - They're quiet, but I know they're learning right along with the more chatty kiddos. I can't wait to get more into their worlds this year.
• a handful of kiddos who march to the beat of their own drums - They make me smile multiple times a day with their laughs and off-the-wall questions and comments. 

and

• some amazing readers and writers - I can't believe what these young people are doing! It simply amazes me!

I'm completely blown away by how much more mature my students are than they were at the end of last year. They are "trained" in how our school operates, and they follow directions quickly. They just know so much more than they did last year. It's the greatest feeling in the world! I still find myself grinning as I walk down the hallway with my class, and my favorite answer to any question about how my year is going is, "It's fantastic!"

This year has been the polar opposite of last year, but with that difference comes a whole new set of challenges. Because I don't have to worry about the behavior and management issues I had last year, I have more time to think about my actual instruction. I'm constantly asking myself if I'm being everything I need to be for my students. As I've mentioned before, I read Teach Like A Pirate by Dave Burgess this summer. In the book, Dave talks about the importance of creating a classroom environment that students want to be a part of. As I walk around the room watching my kiddos fill out their handwriting worksheets and workbook pages, I know I am not living up to the potential Dave would say I have. That bothers me. 

I keep telling myself that I have time to become that teacher. Unfortunately, as in life, some things we have to do even though they aren't incredibly engaging. I'm working to be more okay with this idea; not everything can be filled with un-containable energy. (I wonder what that would look like anyway...) It's okay to be calm and focused on simply getting better from time to time. On the bright side, we have had a handful of successful, highely-engaging activities. We blogged last Friday, and we made these movies on Thursday. My kiddos latch onto the use of technology, and I can use that excitement in the future. They also love to laugh, so I've tried to be silly from time to time. I incorporate a number of brain breaks to keep our brains active and to be respectful of the fact that we're a room full of 6 year-olds and sometimes we just need a break. GoNoodle can wake my kiddos up in the matter of minutes.

I hope to continue adding little details here and there to evolve my classroom into the highly creative and engaging environment Dave describes in his book. In the meantime, I'm trying my hardest to be content with what I have done so far. After all, I am only one person with only a limited amount of time to spend creating. It's not going to happen overnight.