Friday, August 8, 2014

Hangin' Out with Children

This week's #kinderblog14 challenge is to write about the parts of our job that make us laugh the hardest. Here are a few of my examples from my four years in teaching:

(After finishing a song and dance at circle time, here's what one three year old had to say)
Student (with attitude): My mom has moves like Jaggar!

Student (4 years old): My dad doesn't live with my mom any more.
Me: He doesn't? Where does he live? (Keep in mind that her mom was president of my parent advisory board and a good friend of mine. I knew this child was telling stories.)
Student: In a green house down the street.
Me. Wow. I didn't know that. I'll have to ask them about it tonight at conferences.
Student: ..... Just kidding!

(Scenario: My preschoolers are outside playing during our outside chunk of time. I'm supervising)
Student (4 years old - playing nearby): singing Jesus loves me and my father and my mother and my brother, but sometimes I don't like my brother.... (She continued to sing random thoughts for about 3 minutes.)
Me: Wow, that was a really cool song. Where did you learn it?
Student: Menards!

(Scenario: Morning announcements had just finished up and my kinders were coloring at their tables while I submitted attendance.)
Student: Mrs. Hansen, if you were just a little bit bigger, you could be principal.
(That's what's holding me back - I don't meet the height requirement!)

(Scenario: Same student as above. Her name is Kendra. It's the 100th day of school and my kinders are writing about their favorite memory of kindergarten so far.)
Student: Mrs. Hansen, come look at mine!
Me: Can you read it to me?
Student: Sure: My favorite day of kendragarten was....
(At this point, I lose track of where she is in the reading, because I notice she wrote exactly that - "kendragarden." Her name was Kendra, and she thought she went to "kendragarden." I nearly died.)

(Scenario: I had run into a student and her mother at Target one weekend. We chatted for quite a while in the check-out lane. On Monday, this is what she wrote in her weekend journal, which, by the way, she promptly asked me to read.)
I saw Mrs. Hansen at Target. We got her a gift card, but I didn't say a word!

Student (kindergartener): Mrs. Hansen, I have a supervisor!
Me: Really?
Student: Yeah! It's a visor and it's super! Get it?

(Scenario: I went to a 8th grade baseball game with a teacher friend to watch her son play. She had her soon-to-be 4th grader and her one year-old with her.)
4th grader: Do your kids like Frozen?
Me: Well, I don't have any kids.
4th grader: You don't? I thought you did. Does that mean you're going to be pregnant soon?
Me: I don't know. We'll just have to wait and see.
4th grader: Okay, well if you do get pregnant, tell me, okay? Maybe you'll get pregnant with triplets or four triplets or five triplets.
Me: Maybe. How many babies do you want me to have?
4th grader: Like, 5 babies!
(Yikes! That's a lot of babies all at once!)

Hope these made you smile!

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